A piece I wrote recently for The Peaceful Lactivist!
Becoming a mother is the most amazing and significant event in a woman’s life. As she births her baby, she is also reborn - no longer is she the woman she was before. The emotional adjustment in this transition is incomparable. She is strong, powerful and courageous but also vulnerable. We have been brought up in a world where we are told we can be anything we want to be. Where we are encouraged to follow our dreams and have amazing careers because anything is possible. This is great for equality, but as new mums in this modern world, being everything to everyone can be hard. It’s said that it takes a village to raise a child but we have lost our villages. We don’t have the support there once was to care for a new baby, a new family dynamic and ourselves too. We are so proud of being able to achieve everything - why should raising our children be any different? Why should we need help when we have been taught to be independent and do everything for ourselves. Bringing a baby into the world is such a huge adjustment for everyone involved. Why do we overlook planning for after baby arrives, when this is our most vulnerable time? When we are more tired than we have ever been in our lives, when we are healing from our births and learning to breastfeed - our emotions and hormones are in overdrive and we are faced with this overwhelming reality of what it looks like to be a mother and a parent. We live in a society where we are proud to be up walking the same day as giving birth or going to the shop. We don’t allow ourselves the time needed to rest and recuperate, to really drink in all the deliciousness of a new baby. We know all the usual chores still need to be done so we just do them… That is where a Postpartum Doula can help. A “Doula” meaning to mother the mother, is a support person, someone that is there to help you with your transition to motherhood. A person who will encourage, empower and support you. As a Postpartum Doula I want to be there for you! For whatever you need, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Having birthed four babies myself, I have lived in a world where I have been too proud to ask for or accept help. Attempting so many things whilst adjusting to this new family dynamic. Taking on so much, with so little sleep and so many hormones and emotions in running wild. This is not the way it has to be. We need to go back to the old days, build our villages, surround ourselves with people that want to help and make this transition easier and more beautiful. It’s an honour to do that for my clients - to relieve some of their burden by giving an extra set of hands to help with light housework, cooking or entertaining other children. To be able to help with her new baby so she can rest or have a shower. To usher visitors in, and back out again if so desired. To help process the events of her birth and offer emotional support in her role as a mother. To help her establish breastfeeding and demonstrate some basic baby wearing and yoga stretches (to help the body recover) and to give her time until she is ready – she doesn’t need to rush. I want her to believe in herself and her ability to be an amazing mother. When you hire a Postpartum Doula during your pregnancy, you can look forward to enjoying your newborn baby, instead of worrying about how you will manage everything else.
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